Fingernail clippers all over the house are disappearing at an alarming rate. I will defend this last pair. I put it down on the dresser next to the bed. I blink. I blink again. They are gone. The Clipper Culprit has struck again!

I will catch her. Suspect: 3 foot 1 inch blonde female, about 28 lbs. Cute, when she wants to be. She denies it of course, but I will catch her.

First step, find another pair of Fingernail clippers. This is a failure, and I am forced to head to the local hardware store and purchase a new pair. I put them down on the foot of the bed, and wait. I go around the corner of the room, and I wait. Ahh, there she is. The Clipper Culprit waddles in, and grabs them. She looks around to see if she is being watched. I look away. She finds the nearest drawer and hides them under some clothes, looking around the whole while. Busted!