Last Night

Here's one example of a typical night
8:01 Place Seporah to bed after a 30 minute bedtime routine
8:05 I go to bed after brushing my teeth for an unacceptable 15 seconds and going to the the bathroom
8:06 Felicity wakes up, and I don't mean to eat, I mean she wakes up, completely 100%
10:15 Felicity goes to sleep after eating, being changed, being rocked, screaming because Mom put her down to try to sleep after not sleeping all day because her children can not nap at the same time, getting picked back up eating again, changed again, falling asleep for 3 minutes, waking back up and then falling sleep again.
12:23 Felicity wakes up again, change, eat, cry, scream, cry, scream, cry, cry (that one's mom's), screams (op, mom's again), eat, eat, eat
4:30 Felicity asleep
6:00 Felicity awake, eat, eat, eat, scream, please sleep, eat
6:25 felicity did sleep good
6:30 Dad home from work "she went to sleep 5 minutes ago, I don't care that she's on your side of the bed, if you wake her up, you're dead, I'm going to sleep." Dad goes to computer. Mom goes to sleep
7:15 Felicity wakes up, eats and Dad takes her, Mom goes to sleep
8:30 Felicity goes to sleep, Dad goes to sleep, Mom gets up. Seporah watching movie, Mom eats breakfast, checks email, plays with Seporah and stops 3 temper tantrums (and gives a couple spankings)
9:46 Mom fills bathtub and gets in with Seporah, Seporah mostly gets clean, Mom gets shampoo in hair
9:58 Felicity starts screaming, Mom gets soap off of hair, gets out of bathtub, feeds Felicity
10:05 Seporah gets out of bathtub, finds starburst from off of computer table, gets very sticky in about 3 seconds. Mom gets halfway dressed with Felicity screaming on floor. Gets Seporah unsticky and dressed. Seporah throws huge temper tantrum because she would rather be naked and kicks toys at Felicity's head (I should probably not admit how many times that's happened, CPS may come get me)
10:20 Seporah gets a very hard spanking and placed in crib for time out
10:23 Mom, Seporah and felicity all crying, that's it, Dad gets Felicity and Mom gets the couch. I'd say it's only 9 hours, 38 minutes until bedtime, but that's sure a lie.

BTW, I did not send out Christmas Cards.

And this post was written at 1:30 am the next night.

And last Monday I asked for 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I went to bed at 8pm, please don't wake me until midnight, there's milk in the fridge. Did I get to midnight, no, I got until 10:09. To be fair Steven was the one not asleep with the not asleep Felicity.