The Chicken Dance and Don't Eat Yellow Sand
24/10/06 08:53 Filed in: Jason's
Thoughts
Well here we are again. It's a Tuesday morning and
I've already run around doing the chicken dance.
(This is where I run around trying to figure out what
in the world is going on! So now that I have
completed said dance, my quota for dancing is over
and I can calm down to write more on my short story
and write alittle here, so that you all know I am
still alive.
So... yeah I have NOTHING to report. Do you know I'm going bald? Seriously, It's really embaressing. I had one of my Corpsman (the medical squad) ask me if I had HIV disease. I was like.. um I am 99% positive there is no way I have HIV. That's a pretty good inside joke.. which most of you will laugh at. He then says.. "Are you sure you don't have 'Hair InVisible' Disease?" *blink*.... okay loser. that was completely unnecessary.. lol but anyway I shaved my head last week to see how I would look bald.. let's just say that I will be growing my hair out as FAST as I possibly can... lol. Some of you have asked me: What would you like as a ëyouíre out of the marine corpsí present? I guess Iíll just get have to think about it and answer that later.
Um, i know most of you are angry because I haven't called recently, but I haven't really touched a phone in over a week, so don't think any of you are being neglected. Because I'm neglecting you all collectively. :-)
Okay.. well we had a 'health and comfort' inspection yesterday. You see this is where someone who gets paid WAY too much money gets to come look through where we live and comment on how we live. It give them an opportunity to look for drugs, see if we are living in pigstyes and most importantly to see if we are peeing in bottles.. lol.
Okay, let's do some math, alright? You put 1 living area 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, and inform those 500 marines that they can only pee in the authoried restroom.. what do you get? You get 500 marines who are doing the 500 yard pee sprint at 3 am in the morning :-). Let's add in another issue though... You give those same 500 marines, who live 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, a million bottles of drinking water, and inform them that they HAVE to 'hydrate' drinking 6 of them a day. You get 500 marines who live 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, with 6 empty bottles that are in the same room with them, at 2 am in the morning when they have to pee VERY badÖ
a. You have a lot of healthy marines who have learned to do the 500 yard dash in 20 seconds.
b. You have 250 marines who pee the bed, and another 250 marines who drop 20 lbs and 2 minutes off their run time.
c. You have 500 bottles of urine come the dawn of the next day.
d. A puppy dog. (a dachshund)
Okay the Correct answer is C. But letís look at your other options.
Okay if you answered A. Then you have been brainwashed by the military.. this is the CORRECT military answer.. this is what they EXPECT to be done. This is what I do. I refuse to pee in a bottle especially while I have two roommates watching me do it.
If you answered B.. than you are º right. There is a small percentage who in fact pee their bed (probably smaller than 1% and there is probably a good 20% who run to the head in the middle of the night. But despite what steven may say with his Army pride.. :-) We as marines donít really wet the bed, at least not as collectively as the Army guys like to say we do ;-).
If you answered D.. um.. you really must have gotten confused. Puppy Dog was the correct answer the question asked immediately before this word problem was issued. How could you possibly have picked D?!
So for those of you who picked C.. yeah the Battalion CO didnít like our math either.. because thatís about what he found when he inspected the rooms. Luckily none in my work section, but some rooms had as many as 22 bottles of urine in their rooms.. Needless to sayÖ thatís gross.. and we are all in A LOT of trouble because of it. So yeah.. weíre having a ton of fun out here :-). I guess I just found the entire situation entirely too funnyÖ like they expected a bunch of lazy 20 year old guys to come up with some other solutionÖ
So yeah.. Thatís it from the front. Iím still alive and I hope that this story I found mildly humorous doesnít shake the confidance on where your tax dollars are going in iraq :-)
Bands on the rise: BLEACH. Ugh.. Iíve been listening to Andyís Doin Time for like the last three days. I canít stop listening to it.. ití so GREAT. That and the song ìCalifornia in Decemberî by Transistor Radio. Great song too.
Artist of the month: Brendan Jamieson.. no words to describeÖ if you can FIND his music. (itís hard to locate) just listen to alittle of it.. and then listen to it some more.. it grows on you. Itís GREAT. (almost like frosted flakes, but not quite as edible.)
Voicemail people! Spam it like you were trying to get a law passed! Make up some personalities, if youíve already called for yourself. Talk about rain, or the way you see life.. or maybe just how you wonder whoís going to win the hushpuppy bowl (thatís where everyone gets together at Long John Silvers and seeís who can eat the most hushpuppysÖ you can find it on ESPN 12.. Iím sure dadís up on the leading contestants this year. (-; lol )
Jason
So... yeah I have NOTHING to report. Do you know I'm going bald? Seriously, It's really embaressing. I had one of my Corpsman (the medical squad) ask me if I had HIV disease. I was like.. um I am 99% positive there is no way I have HIV. That's a pretty good inside joke.. which most of you will laugh at. He then says.. "Are you sure you don't have 'Hair InVisible' Disease?" *blink*.... okay loser. that was completely unnecessary.. lol but anyway I shaved my head last week to see how I would look bald.. let's just say that I will be growing my hair out as FAST as I possibly can... lol. Some of you have asked me: What would you like as a ëyouíre out of the marine corpsí present? I guess Iíll just get have to think about it and answer that later.
Um, i know most of you are angry because I haven't called recently, but I haven't really touched a phone in over a week, so don't think any of you are being neglected. Because I'm neglecting you all collectively. :-)
Okay.. well we had a 'health and comfort' inspection yesterday. You see this is where someone who gets paid WAY too much money gets to come look through where we live and comment on how we live. It give them an opportunity to look for drugs, see if we are living in pigstyes and most importantly to see if we are peeing in bottles.. lol.
Okay, let's do some math, alright? You put 1 living area 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, and inform those 500 marines that they can only pee in the authoried restroom.. what do you get? You get 500 marines who are doing the 500 yard pee sprint at 3 am in the morning :-). Let's add in another issue though... You give those same 500 marines, who live 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, a million bottles of drinking water, and inform them that they HAVE to 'hydrate' drinking 6 of them a day. You get 500 marines who live 500 yards away from the closest authorized restroom, with 6 empty bottles that are in the same room with them, at 2 am in the morning when they have to pee VERY badÖ
a. You have a lot of healthy marines who have learned to do the 500 yard dash in 20 seconds.
b. You have 250 marines who pee the bed, and another 250 marines who drop 20 lbs and 2 minutes off their run time.
c. You have 500 bottles of urine come the dawn of the next day.
d. A puppy dog. (a dachshund)
Okay the Correct answer is C. But letís look at your other options.
Okay if you answered A. Then you have been brainwashed by the military.. this is the CORRECT military answer.. this is what they EXPECT to be done. This is what I do. I refuse to pee in a bottle especially while I have two roommates watching me do it.
If you answered B.. than you are º right. There is a small percentage who in fact pee their bed (probably smaller than 1% and there is probably a good 20% who run to the head in the middle of the night. But despite what steven may say with his Army pride.. :-) We as marines donít really wet the bed, at least not as collectively as the Army guys like to say we do ;-).
If you answered D.. um.. you really must have gotten confused. Puppy Dog was the correct answer the question asked immediately before this word problem was issued. How could you possibly have picked D?!
So for those of you who picked C.. yeah the Battalion CO didnít like our math either.. because thatís about what he found when he inspected the rooms. Luckily none in my work section, but some rooms had as many as 22 bottles of urine in their rooms.. Needless to sayÖ thatís gross.. and we are all in A LOT of trouble because of it. So yeah.. weíre having a ton of fun out here :-). I guess I just found the entire situation entirely too funnyÖ like they expected a bunch of lazy 20 year old guys to come up with some other solutionÖ
So yeah.. Thatís it from the front. Iím still alive and I hope that this story I found mildly humorous doesnít shake the confidance on where your tax dollars are going in iraq :-)
Bands on the rise: BLEACH. Ugh.. Iíve been listening to Andyís Doin Time for like the last three days. I canít stop listening to it.. ití so GREAT. That and the song ìCalifornia in Decemberî by Transistor Radio. Great song too.
Artist of the month: Brendan Jamieson.. no words to describeÖ if you can FIND his music. (itís hard to locate) just listen to alittle of it.. and then listen to it some more.. it grows on you. Itís GREAT. (almost like frosted flakes, but not quite as edible.)
Voicemail people! Spam it like you were trying to get a law passed! Make up some personalities, if youíve already called for yourself. Talk about rain, or the way you see life.. or maybe just how you wonder whoís going to win the hushpuppy bowl (thatís where everyone gets together at Long John Silvers and seeís who can eat the most hushpuppysÖ you can find it on ESPN 12.. Iím sure dadís up on the leading contestants this year. (-; lol )
Jason
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